Ask any expectant parent whether they are hoping for a boy or a girl, and you will probably hear the same stock response: “Oh, we don’t care. Just so long as it’s happy and healthy.” I was a little more selfish than that; I wanted happy, healthy, and male. Both times.
Growing up, I always wanted an older brother. It just seems like everyone needs an older brother. Of course, I say this never having had an older brother. The second time around, I still wanted a boy. I was getting pretty good at raising a boy, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to give up my status as the only girl in the house. Sure, I was a little disappointed when I realized that we weren’t having a girl and that I’d never get to buy hair bows and cute dressed. But I was even more relieved to realize I’d never have to learn to do hair or deal with spilled nail polish or have my own shoes and clothes stolen out of my closet.
What’s interesting about having two children of the same sex is that everyone assumes you aren’t satisfied. No sooner had we found out that we were having an Alexander and not an Alexandra, then people began asking when we would try for a third. It surprised me – no one started asking when we would try for a second while I was pregnant with Robbie. However, I soon realized the deeper meaning in the question when my response was not what people expected. The conversations (all of them) went a little something like this:
“So, will you and Justin try for a third right away?”
“No, we’re stopping with just two. No more room at the house!”
“Oh.” There was usually a pause here, since no one expected me to say we were done. “So, you’re not going to try for a girl?”
That’s the silliest thing I’ve ever heard. I love my two boys, and, from the time I found out I was pregnant with Alex, I felt like our family was complete. There has never been a need for another child (plus, in all honesty, now that Alex is here, the idea of really being outnumbered sounds terrifying – and expensive!). It took me awhile to come up with the proper response. Finally, I found the one that stopped the conversation.
“No. In fact, we’re not having a third because it might be a girl.”