Justin, Robbie, and I were dying to find out what we were having. There was a constant back-and-forth in our house about boys and girls, each one ending with Robbie in near tears about the mere possibility of having a sister. So, when the midwife told me we could find out via blood test (I know – can you believe it?!), we hopped on it. Except I didn’t want to find out that way. Having a nurse call on the phone, Justin maybe out of town. It just seemed really cold. We opted to try to find out very early via ultrasound. Last Wednesday, scoring a last-minute appointment at Lexington Fetal Photography (terrible name, isn’t it?), we headed out to hopefully solve the mystery.
Thankfully, this baby is just like his brother – very cooperative and not at all bashful. Within seconds, there he was, in all his glory. Robbie jumped up and down and gave a very heartfelt, “Yesss!” at the news. Justin clapped enthusiastically, proud of himself for siring another male heir. And I was a little relieved to have my status as sole female. This was it. We knew what our family would be. I would always have “my boys”.
But, as excited and thrilled as we are to have another boy, we were a little sad, too. We only want two children, so this was it. We will probably never have a little girl. I will never by dresses or hair bows for my little girl. The girl outfit I bought “just in case” from another mom who has all boys will have to be passed on. There will be no waiting in line to meet princesses or dressing up for a tea party. Even now, it’s a little sad because I wonder what a little girl would have been like.
But then I think of what I won’t miss out on. No battles over whether clothing is too revealing. No wedding to pay for. No middle school girl drama. No conversations about why make-up isn’t appropriate at age nine. No boys coming to my house to take my daughter out.
And all that I will have with another boy… Sweet hugs and kisses from someone who wants to marry me, even though I’m already taken. Playing with cars and trains and monsters. Skinned knees and visible scars that don’t really matter because boys are more awesome with battle wounds and good stories to back them up (like the one on Robbie’s forehead from where he put a Matchbox car through it two years ago). Adventures on pirate ships. Dirt under the fingernails from digging for treasure. And to get to experience that twice? I just don’t think I could give it up.