The Things He Says

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I’m not sure where this kid got his sense of humor, but he is the funniest person he knows.  This morning, when  I woke Robbie up to get ready for school, he refused to open his eyes.  While I was getting him dressed, he laid on the changing table with his eyes closed and a huge grin on his face.

“Are you asleep?” I asked.

“Nope!” he exclaimed, shaking his head.

“Are you awake?” I continued.

“Nope!”

“Are you making it dark?”

“Mmm…” he paused, giving it some thought.  “Nope!”

Then, while we were putting on his clothes, he informed me that he would like to go see sharks with Aunt Barb.  This is actually not too strange, given that we did go see sharks with Aunt Barb last week.  However, he later told me that he wanted to get on Aunt Barb’s boat and go see sharks.  Unfortunately, her boat is on a lake and not the ocean.  But I didn’t want to squash his hopes so early in the day.

On the way to school, Robbie was pretty quiet.  Then, all of a sudden, I heard a loud, “Shark!  Ooo-ha-ha!”  I tried to explain that the line (from Finding Nemo, for those of you fortunate enough not to have watched in 972 times in the past week) was, “Shark Bait!  Ooo-ha-ha!”  He still doesn’t believe me.

Of course, his best quote from the day was after we got rear ended on Mass Ave. in Lexington.  The car in front of me stopped for a pedestrian.  I stopped behind it – just barely.  My brakes locked up, and I was inches from the bumper.  The car behind me tried to stop; I could hear the brakes locking.  And then I felt the impact.  Well, heard it more really.

I’m almost embarrassed to tell you what I said.  It didn’t even occur to me that there was a child in the car.  It was some blasphemous form of “damn it!”  And then, from the back seat, I heard my little parrot repeating me with enough passion for me to believe that he, too, was really irritated by the fact that our car had been hit for a second time from behind.

Fortunately, there was no damage to our car and no one was hurt.  The kid who hit me (he was wearing a high school letterman’s jacket, so he really was a kid) was nice and so apologetic.  The grill of his car was demolished.  I can only imagine what Robbie would have said if he had seen it…

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