Chinese Miracles


I don’t know why I didn’t just go to her first. It seemed logical: chronic dental nerve pain? See a dentist. Sinus infection causing said chronic pain? Call my doctor. But, no. It wasn’t either of those that gave me the real relief. It was, of course, Zhining, with her crazy voodoo green water in a tiny glass bottle.

I must have looked pretty terrible when I came to pick up Robbie. I hear that, for two days, I looked like Death. Plain and simple. Not even warmed over. Zhining looked at me and told me that I must not be feeling any better. She said, “Wait one minute. I have your cure. Just one minute.” And she was gone to the back room, rummaging for something while I waited, hoping for a miracle.

And, boy, did she have it. The glass bottle probably measures no taller than two inches, but I only needed two drops to know it was the miracle elixir I’d been hoping for (and that Zhining had promised, assuring me that everyone in China keeps a bottle of this in their pockets, just in case). Feeling another round of throbbing pain taking hold on my temple as I merged from 128 to Route 2, I opened the bottle and rubbed a few drops onto my forehead and across my jaw. Almost instant relief.

Vicodin did nothing to numb the pain initially. Forget about any over-the-counter remedies. And the antibiotic took next to forever to cause any relief (well, 36 hours felt like forever at the time). And I couldn’t very well keep going to the dentist and begging for shots of Novocain. Who does that? So, thank goodness for glass bottles of green water. After all, as the pamphlet claims, it cures anything from “evil winds” to mosquito bites. Unfortunately, it’s only sold in China. I’ll be sending money with Zhining this summer to stock up. We’ll definitely be keeping a bottle in every coat pocket and purse. You never know when you might encounter an evil wind.


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