Change is scary. I think it gets scarier as I get older because the change is more defining. Today, I took a big leap into change. For the first time in my professional career, I have resigned a job because I found one better suited for me. Not because I was moving or bumped. And it’s one of the most terrifying things I have done in a long time.
In my heart, I know this is the right thing to do. I am ready for a new challenge. This will help me grow professionally and get me on a better path to administration. But, my heart is conflicted because I love the students at Willow Hill. I love the staff. I love what the school stands for and the changes I have seen in the students over the three years I have been there. I am so proud of them and everything they accomplished. I cried like baby at graduation this year; those were students from my first year.
I will be teaching at Lawrence High School’s International School this year, leaving the small confines of Willow Hill’s population of sixty students. I am still not sure exactly what I will be teaching: “The American Dream” in a regular education classroom or several English and academic support classes in a special education classroom. I figure I’ll just let life take me on this journey and see where I end up. Either place is fine by me.
I cried this morning as my letter of resignation was faxed off. It felt more permanent than I was prepared for. It might have been easier if I was leaving because I did not like my job, but that is not the case. Sometimes doing the right thing for yourself doesn’t feel good in the beginning. But, I have confidence that it will feel good once I get into school and in the swing of things.
I am not the same teacher or person who entered Willow Hill three years ago. I am more patient and tolerant of the differences in others. I am more willing to find the way a student learns best and tailor assingments. I am a mother who understands why parents are so protective of their children. I have a new Master’s Degree. And I can’t wait to see what changes lie in store for me with this next adventure.