It’s an interesting thing, coming out of the fog of a family tragedy. I could feel myself start to come out late last week, and this week things are starting to feel more normal. I went running twice this week. I’ve been singing a little more in the car.
But it’s strange, realizing that other people went on living their lives and even interacting with me while I simply floated from day to day, unable to focus. Occasionally, I run into someone I don’t even remember that I know. It happened last week in church. I saw a friend I only see in church and hadn’t seen for almost two months. I was supposed to call her right after Thanksgiving to get our kids together to play… Or the friend to whom I was talking earlier this week and said, “Did you know my mother-in-law had passed away?” when he asked what was going on.
Turns out, he had sent his condolences. Which I know meant a lot to me when he sent them, as I read every single message – text, Facebook, or otherwise – and listened to every voicemail.
It’s all so overwhelming, and you do your best to focus from the time you wake up until the time you can leave work. And when you get home, you function just enough to get your child fed, bathed, and turn on Christmas movies until we all fell asleep together. Sadly, this becomes a habit very quickly, for everyone involved.
And so here we are, some of the pieces picked up and getting a few more of them in order every day. After all, that’s the only option, right?